How Do You Know When It Is Love?

As”‹ “‹a”‹ “‹professional”‹ “‹wedding”‹ “‹photographer,”‹ Autumn Lee of Autumn Lee Studios is”‹ “‹frequently”‹ “‹asked,”‹ “‹“Can”‹ “‹you”‹ “‹tell”‹ “‹which couples”‹ “‹will”‹ “‹last?””‹ Here’s what she has to say:

“‹I”‹ “‹wish”‹ “‹I”‹ “‹had”‹ “‹a”‹ “‹simple”‹ “‹answer”‹ “‹to”‹ “‹share”‹ “‹with”‹ “‹you,”‹ “‹some”‹ “‹omniscient wand”‹ “‹swipe”‹ “‹that”‹ “‹would”‹ “‹foretell”‹ “‹the”‹ “‹predictability”‹ “‹of”‹ “‹happily”‹ “‹ever”‹ “‹after.”‹ “‹I”‹ “‹don’t”‹ “‹have”‹ “‹magic, but”‹ “‹I”‹ “‹do”‹ “‹have”‹ “‹a”‹ “‹smidge”‹ “‹of”‹ “‹insight”‹ “‹after”‹ “‹a”‹ “‹decade”‹ “‹of”‹ “‹witnessing”‹ “‹couples”‹ “‹wed.”‹ “‹

Whether you”‹ “‹and”‹ “‹your”‹ “‹suitor”‹ “‹met”‹ “‹on”‹ “‹Grinder,”‹ “‹at”‹ “‹a”‹ “‹bar,”‹ “‹or”‹ “‹via”‹ “‹an”‹ “‹immensely”‹ “‹awkward”‹ “‹friend set-up,”‹ “‹love”‹ “‹is”‹ “‹chemistry,”‹ “‹work,”‹ “‹and”‹ “‹choice,”‹ “‹in”‹ “‹that”‹ “‹order.”‹ “‹Moreover,”‹ “‹modern”‹ “‹love”‹ “‹is rarely”‹ “‹pure”‹ “‹happily”‹ “‹ever”‹ “‹after”‹ “‹and”‹ “‹love”‹ “‹is”‹ “‹not”‹ “‹easy.”‹ “‹.”‹ “‹.”‹ “‹ever.

Here”‹ “‹is”‹ “‹what”‹ “‹I”‹ “‹know”‹ “‹about”‹ “‹modern”‹ “‹love:”‹ “‹it’s”‹ “‹complicated”‹ “‹and”‹ “‹murky”‹ “‹most”‹ “‹of”‹ “‹the”‹ “‹time. Cellphones”‹ “‹have”‹ “‹destroyed”‹ “‹the”‹ “‹plot”‹ “‹l”‹ine”‹ “‹to”‹ “‹every”‹ “‹90s”‹ “‹sitcom,”‹ “‹and”‹ “‹consequently”‹ “‹ruined the”‹ “‹happenstance”‹ “‹of”‹ “‹love,”‹ “‹romantic”‹ “‹misunderstandings,”‹ “‹sliding”‹ “‹door”‹ “‹moments”‹ “‹of”‹ “‹chance encounters,”‹ “‹and”‹ “‹wrong”‹ “‹place,”‹ “‹wrong”‹ “‹time”‹ “‹relationship”‹ “‹debacl”‹es.”‹ “‹

Late”‹ “‹night”‹ “‹texts”‹ “‹can’t clarify”‹ “‹and”‹ “‹simplify”‹ “‹true”‹ “‹love”‹ “‹as”‹ “‹well”‹ “‹as”‹ “‹a”‹ “‹passionate,”‹ “‹middle”‹ “‹of”‹ “‹the”‹ “‹night,”‹ “‹sleepy face-to-face”‹ “‹declaration”‹ “‹of”‹ “‹love”‹ “‹on”‹ “‹a”‹ “‹doorstep.”‹ “‹Snapchat”‹ “‹reveals”‹ “‹a”‹ “‹lover’s”‹ “‹location,”‹ “‹but”‹ “‹it doesn’t”‹ “‹make”‹ “‹it”‹ “‹easier”‹ “‹to”‹ “‹track”‹ “‹them”‹ “‹down.”‹ “‹FaceTime”‹ “‹and”‹ “‹Skype”‹ “‹may”‹ “‹close”‹ “‹the”‹ “‹gap”‹ “‹of long-distance”‹ “‹longing,”‹ “‹but”‹ “‹they”‹ “‹don’t”‹ “‹bring”‹ “‹love”‹ “‹near.

How”‹ “‹do”‹ “‹you”‹ “‹know”‹ “‹when”‹ “‹to”‹ “‹invest”‹ “‹in”‹ “‹a”‹ “‹connection”‹ “‹or”‹ “‹keep”‹ “‹swiping”‹ “‹left?”‹ “‹When”‹ “‹should”‹ “‹you say”‹ “‹”yes””‹ “‹to”‹ “‹a”‹ “‹hopefully”‹ “‹forever”‹ “‹commitment?”‹

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“‹I”‹ “‹recently”‹ “‹stumbled”‹ “‹across”‹ “‹a”‹ “‹teen magazine”‹ “‹article”‹ “‹asking”‹ “‹the”‹ “‹same”‹ “‹question.”‹ “‹Though”‹ “‹I”‹ “‹appreciated”‹ “‹the”‹ “‹authentic simplicity”‹ “‹of”‹ “‹the”‹ “‹magazine’s”‹ “‹recomme”‹ndations”‹ “‹on”‹ “‹identifying”‹ “‹true”‹ “‹love,”‹ “‹I”‹ “‹was”‹ “‹saddened at”‹ “‹their”‹ “‹surface-y”‹ “‹litmus”‹ “‹test”‹ “‹of”‹ “‹what”‹ “‹love”‹ “‹is.”‹ “‹

The”‹ “‹article”‹ “‹suggested”‹ “‹that”‹ “‹if”‹ “‹your”‹ “‹love”‹ “‹knows what”‹ “‹you”‹ “‹like”‹ “‹in”‹ “‹a”‹ “‹Chipotle”‹ “‹burrito”‹ “‹bowl,”‹ “‹that”‹ “‹is”‹ “‹a”‹ “‹sure”‹ “‹sign”‹ “‹that”‹ “‹you”‹ “‹are”‹ “‹on”‹ “‹track”‹ “‹to”‹ “‹love. And”‹ “‹if”‹ “‹your”‹ “‹love”‹ “‹can”‹ “‹list”‹ “‹the”‹ “‹characters”‹ “‹on”‹ “‹your”‹ “‹favorite”‹ “‹TV”‹ “‹show,”‹ “‹then”‹ “‹surely,”‹ “‹that”‹ “‹too”‹ “‹is a”‹ “‹sign”‹ “‹of”‹ “‹love.”‹ “‹

And”‹ “‹if”‹ “‹he/she”‹ “‹pauses”‹ “‹the”‹ “‹movie”‹ “‹without”‹ “‹being”‹ “‹asked”‹ “‹when”‹ “‹you”‹ “‹get”‹ “‹up”‹ “‹to grab”‹ “‹a”‹ “‹snack,”‹ “‹and”‹ “‹they”‹ “‹store”‹ “‹your”‹ “‹name”‹ “‹on”‹ “‹their”‹ “‹cell”‹ “‹phone”‹ “‹with”‹ “‹heart”‹ “‹emojis”‹ “‹after”‹ “‹it, and”‹ “‹most”‹ “‹of”‹ “‹the”‹ “‹selfies”‹ “‹on”‹ “‹your”‹ “‹phone”‹ “‹include”‹ “‹the”‹ “‹two”‹ “‹of”‹ “‹you”‹ “‹together,”‹ “‹then”‹ “‹obviously it’s”‹ “‹lov”‹e.”‹ “‹

But”‹ “‹is”‹ “‹it? 

Here”‹ “‹is”‹ “‹what”‹ “‹I”‹ “‹know:”‹ “‹love”‹ “‹starts”‹ “‹with”‹ “‹”‹chemistry”‹.”‹ “‹The”‹ “‹flitters,”‹ “‹flutters,”‹ “‹queasy”‹ “‹palpitations and”‹ “‹irrational”‹ “‹excitement”‹ “‹is”‹ “‹what”‹ “‹shifts”‹ “‹the”‹ “‹human”‹ “‹connection”‹ “‹between”‹ “‹you”‹ “‹and”‹ “‹another, and”‹ “‹you”‹ “‹start”‹ “‹to”‹ “‹mingle”‹ “‹your”‹ “‹lives.”‹ “‹When”‹ “‹the”‹ “‹tension-building”‹ “‹dating-merge-dance”‹ “‹and up-all-night”‹ “‹text”‹ “‹campaign”‹ “‹begins””that’s”‹ “‹when”‹ “‹you”‹ “‹plant”‹ “‹the”‹ “‹seeds”‹ “‹to”‹ “‹your”‹ “‹future.”‹

“‹It’s like”‹ “‹that”‹ “‹one”‹ “‹time”‹ “‹my”‹ “‹kid”‹ “‹thought”‹ “‹that”‹ “‹if”‹ “‹he”‹ “‹licked”‹ “‹the”‹ “‹TV”‹ “‹remote,”‹ “‹he”‹ “‹could”‹ “‹claim”‹ “‹it”‹ “‹as”‹ “‹his own”‹ “‹forever.”‹ “‹Same-same.”‹ “‹Swapping”‹ “‹dippy”‹ “‹looks,”‹ “‹spit,”‹ “‹and”‹ “‹hand-holding”‹ “‹sweat”‹ “‹is”‹ “‹the way”‹ “‹you”‹ “‹formally”‹ “‹proclaim”‹ “‹to”‹ “‹the”‹ “‹universe,”‹ “‹“I”‹ “‹am”‹ “‹investigating”‹ “‹the”‹ “‹option”‹ “‹of”‹ “‹claiming”‹ “‹this one”‹ “‹as”‹ “‹mine.””‹

“‹You”‹ “‹both”‹ “‹are”‹ “‹in”‹ “‹your”‹ “‹own”‹ “‹world”‹ “‹of”‹ “‹inhaling”‹ “‹each”‹ “‹other”‹ “‹and”‹ “‹your”‹ “‹potential together.”‹ “‹It’s”‹ “‹cute,”‹ “‹and”‹ “‹in”‹ “‹this”‹ “‹life”‹ “‹moment”‹ “‹you”‹ “‹are”‹ “‹both”‹ “‹totally”‹ “‹annoying”‹ “‹and”‹ “‹”‹all”‹”‹ “‹your friends”‹ “‹and”‹ “‹”‹all”‹”‹ “‹your”‹ “‹family”‹ “‹collectively”‹ “‹roll”‹ “‹their”‹ “‹eyes”‹ “‹and”‹ “‹send”‹ “‹you”‹ “‹good”‹ “‹vibes”‹ “‹as”‹ “‹you sort”‹ “‹through”‹ “‹this”‹ “‹phase”‹ “‹of”‹ “‹deciding”‹ “‹if”‹ “‹togetherness”‹ “‹is”‹ “‹worth”‹ “‹nurturing,”‹ “‹if”‹ “‹this”‹ “‹connection has”‹ “‹the”‹ “‹potential”‹ “‹to”‹ “‹grow”‹ “‹roots”‹ “‹and”‹ “‹become”‹ “‹something”‹ “‹bigger”‹ “‹and”‹ “‹stronger”‹ “‹and”‹ “‹lasting, and”‹ “‹if”‹ “‹you”‹ “‹will”‹ “‹bloom”‹ “‹together.

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Next”‹ “‹comes”‹ “‹”‹work”‹.”‹

“‹The”‹ “‹love”‹ “‹work”‹ “‹happens”‹ “‹when”‹ “”‹hormone-ville””‹ “‹has”‹ “‹settled”‹ “‹down”‹ “‹to”‹ “‹a manageable”‹ “‹simmer”‹ “‹and”‹ “‹you”‹ “‹start”‹ “‹to”‹ “‹remember”‹ “‹to”‹ “‹eat”‹ “‹and”‹ “‹sleep”‹ “‹and”‹ “‹go”‹ “‹more”‹ “‹than”‹ “‹five hours”‹ “‹without”‹ “‹texting”‹ “‹each”‹ “‹other.”‹ “‹The”‹ “‹seeds”‹ “‹of”‹ “‹love”‹ “‹have”‹ “‹been”‹ “‹blissfully”‹ “‹and”‹ “‹joyfully planted.”‹ “‹And”‹ “‹now”‹ “‹they”‹ “‹need”‹ “‹to”‹ “‹be”‹ “‹nurtured”‹ “‹in”‹ “‹order”‹ “‹to”‹ “‹grow.”‹ “‹

The”‹ “‹work”‹ “‹phase”‹ “‹is”‹ “‹the longest”‹ “‹and”‹ “‹lamest”‹ “‹portion”‹ “‹of”‹ “‹the”‹ “‹phases”‹ “‹because”‹ “‹it’s”‹ “‹when”‹ “‹everyone’s”‹ “‹baggage”‹ “‹gets unpacked”‹ “‹and”‹ “‹real”‹ “‹choices”‹ “‹have”‹ “‹to”‹ “‹be”‹ “‹made.”‹ “‹The”‹ “‹flutters”‹ “‹have”‹ “‹gone,”‹ “‹everyday”‹ “‹life”‹ “‹is rearing”‹ “‹its”‹ “‹ugly”‹ “‹head,”‹ “‹and”‹ “‹there”‹ “‹is”‹ “‹literal”‹ “‹and”‹ “‹metaphorical”‹ “‹dirty”‹ “‹laundry”‹ “‹everywhere.”‹ “‹

All the”‹ “‹things”‹ “‹that”‹ “‹got”‹ “‹put”‹ “‹on”‹ “‹hold”‹ “‹for”‹ “‹the”‹ “‹month-long”‹ “‹tour”‹ “‹of”‹ “‹hot-and-heavy-lala-land”‹ “‹are now”‹ “‹demanding”‹ “‹investment”‹ “‹and”‹ “‹attention.”‹ “‹The”‹ “‹thing”‹ “‹about”‹ “‹next-level”‹ “‹love”‹ “‹is”‹ “‹that”‹ “‹it”‹ “‹is work,”‹ “‹and”‹ “‹you”‹ “‹have”‹ “‹to”‹ “‹tend”‹ “‹to”‹ “‹it”‹ “‹because”‹ “‹the”‹ “‹chemistry”‹ “‹phase”‹ “‹is”‹ “‹fleeting”‹ “‹and”‹ “‹was”‹ “‹only designed”‹ “‹to”‹ “‹make”‹ “‹you”‹ “‹want”‹ “‹to”‹ “‹suck”‹ “‹face,”‹ “‹not”‹ “‹to”‹ “‹do”‹ “‹any”‹ “‹real”‹ “‹bonding.”‹ “‹

Now”‹ “‹you”‹ “‹sort”‹ “‹out all”‹ “‹the”‹ “‹business”‹ “‹of”‹ “‹life”‹ “‹together:”‹ “‹money,”‹ “‹religion,”‹ “‹the”‹ “‹other”‹ “‹person’s”‹ “‹horrendous”‹ “‹family, childhood”‹ “‹issues,”‹ “‹politics,”‹ “‹and”‹ “‹if”‹ “‹and”‹ “‹how”‹ “‹you”‹ “‹wanna”‹ “‹handle”‹ “‹kiddos.”‹ “‹Those”‹ “‹tend”‹ “‹to”‹ “‹be the”‹ “‹big”‹ “‹questions,”‹ “‹and”‹ “‹if”‹ “‹you”‹ “‹survive”‹ “‹those”‹ “‹heavy,”‹ “‹emotionally”‹ “‹draining”‹ “‹crap-shows,”‹ “‹you think”‹ “‹“Whelp,”‹ “‹after”‹ “‹all”‹ “‹that,”‹ “‹I”‹ “‹think”‹ “‹I”‹ “‹still”‹ “‹like”‹ “‹you.”‹ “‹Let’s”‹ “‹get”‹ “‹married.” Then”‹ “‹comes”‹ “‹”‹choice”‹”‹ “‹(insert”‹ “‹drum”‹ “‹roll”‹ “‹here).”‹

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The”‹ “‹work”‹ “‹part”‹ “‹and”‹ “‹the”‹ “‹choice”‹ “‹part”‹ “‹of”‹ “‹love overlap”‹ “‹in”‹ “‹one”‹ “‹of”‹ “‹those”‹ “‹overplayed”‹ “‹Venn”‹ “‹diagrams”‹ “‹your”‹ “‹teachers”‹ “‹forced”‹ “‹you”‹ “‹to”‹ “‹draw”‹ “‹in high”‹ “‹school.”‹ “‹Work”‹ “‹and”‹ “‹choice”‹ “‹flip”‹ “‹flop”‹ “‹over”‹ “‹each”‹ “‹other”‹ “‹in”‹ “‹some”‹ “‹messy”‹ “‹version”‹ “‹of leapfrog”‹ “‹as”‹ “‹they”‹ “‹take”‹ “‹turns”‹ “‹being”‹ “‹in”‹ “‹front.”‹

“‹Love”‹ “‹work”‹ “‹is”‹ “‹constant“”working”‹ “‹to communicate,”‹ “‹to”‹ “‹be”‹ “‹an”‹ “‹equal”‹ “‹participant,”‹ “‹to”‹ “‹grow”‹ “‹together,”‹ “‹to”‹ “‹stay”‹ “‹invested,”‹ “‹to”‹ “‹support and”‹ “‹nurture.”‹ “‹.”‹ “‹.”‹ “‹all”‹ “‹the”‹ “‹wedding”‹ “‹vow”‹ “‹stuff.”‹ “‹.”‹ “‹.”‹ “‹blah,”‹ “‹blah,”‹ “‹blah.”‹

“‹Occasionally,”‹ “‹choice”‹ “‹jumps in”‹ “‹front”‹ “‹to”‹ “‹remind”‹ “‹you”‹ “‹that”‹ “‹you”‹ “‹always”‹ “‹have”‹ “‹the”‹ “‹choice”‹ “‹to”‹ “‹leave”‹ “‹a”‹ “‹marriage.”‹ “‹The”‹ “‹reasons people”‹ “‹leave”‹ “‹a”‹ “‹relationship”‹ “‹are”‹ “‹as”‹ “‹diverse”‹ “‹as”‹ “‹the”‹ “‹individuals”‹ “‹and”‹ “‹the”‹ “‹relationships themselves.

So”‹ “‹here”‹ “‹is”‹ “‹the”‹ “‹rub”‹ “‹to”‹ “‹the”‹ “‹whole”‹ “‹happily”‹ “‹ever”‹ “‹after”‹ “‹thang-y.”‹ “‹It”‹ “‹is”‹ “‹”‹never”‹”‹ “‹totally”‹ “‹happily”‹ “‹ever after.”‹ “‹”‹Every”‹”‹ “‹relationship”‹ “‹has”‹ “‹bumps,”‹ “‹hiccups,”‹ “‹snafus”‹ “‹and”‹ “‹catastrophes.”‹ “‹All”‹ “‹of”‹ “‹”˜em! Every”‹ “‹last”‹ “‹one”‹ “‹of”‹ “‹them,”‹ “‹amen!”‹ “‹The”‹ “‹”‹Rosetta”‹ “‹Stone”‹ “‹”‹of”‹ “‹marriage”‹ “‹is”‹ “‹when”‹ “‹”‹both”‹”‹ “‹people”‹ “‹are willing”‹ “‹and”‹ “‹mentally”‹ “‹able”‹ “‹to”‹ “‹do”‹ “‹the”‹ “‹work”‹ “‹and”‹ “‹make”‹ “‹the”‹ “‹choice”‹ “‹to”‹ “‹stay.”‹ “‹

And”‹ “‹here”‹ “‹is”‹ “‹the real”‹ “‹crappy”‹ “‹part:”‹ “‹you”‹ “‹can’t”‹ “‹control”‹ “‹the”‹ “‹other”‹ “‹person.”‹ “‹Ugh.”‹ “‹Dumb.”‹ “‹All”‹ “‹you”‹ “‹can”‹ “‹do”‹ “‹is”‹ “‹make the”‹ “‹best”‹ “‹possible”‹ “‹choice”‹ “‹you”‹ “‹can”‹ “‹about”‹ “‹a”‹ “‹partner,”‹ “‹and”‹ “‹then”‹ “‹hope”‹ “‹for”‹ “‹the”‹ “‹best.”‹ “‹Do”‹ “‹the best”‹ “‹you”‹ “‹can”‹ “‹in”‹ “‹your”‹ “‹marriage”‹ “‹and”‹ “‹hopefully”‹ “‹your”‹ “‹partner”‹ “‹will”‹ “‹too.”‹ “‹That’s”‹ “‹it.”‹ “‹No guarantees. Choose”‹ “‹well.

Now”‹ “‹we’re”‹ “‹getting”‹ “‹to”‹ “‹the”‹ “‹real”‹ “‹advice”‹ “‹of”‹ “‹this”‹ “‹article.”‹ “‹There”‹ “‹are”‹ “‹three”‹ “‹foundations”‹ “‹of”‹ “‹love: chemistry,”‹ “‹work,”‹ “‹and”‹ “‹choice.”‹ “‹These”‹ “‹three”‹ “‹completely”‹ “‹solid”‹ “‹things”‹ “‹will”‹ “‹predict”‹ “‹if”‹ “‹you’ll have”‹ “‹the”‹ “‹luxury”‹ “‹of”‹ “‹getting”‹ “‹a”‹ “‹chance”‹ “‹to”‹ “‹move”‹ “‹through”‹ “‹the”‹ “‹love”‹ “‹cycle”‹ “‹without”‹ “‹the”‹ “‹wheels falling”‹ “‹off”‹ “‹the”‹ “‹bus”‹ “‹during”‹ “‹the”‹ “‹journey.”‹ “‹

If”‹ “‹you”‹ “‹cannot”‹ “‹honestly”‹ “‹say”‹ “‹”yes””‹ “‹to”‹ “‹each”‹ “‹one,”‹ “‹then, as”‹ “‹the”‹ “‹90s”‹ “‹rapper”‹ “‹Ice”‹ “‹Cube”‹ “‹said,”‹ “‹“Chickity-check”‹ “‹yo”‹ “‹self”‹ “‹before”‹ “‹you”‹ “‹wreck”‹ “‹yo”‹ “‹self.” (Gawd”‹ “‹I”‹ “‹love”‹ “‹the”‹ “‹90s.)

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And”‹ “‹now,”‹ “‹three”‹ “‹final”‹ “‹questions.

1. Are”‹ “‹you”‹ “‹a”‹ “‹better”‹ “‹person”‹ “‹with”‹ “‹them”‹ “‹than”‹ “‹without”‹ “‹them?”‹ “‹

Here”‹ “‹is”‹ “‹what”‹ “‹I”‹ “‹mean”‹ “‹by”‹ “‹that. Are”‹ “‹you”‹ “‹the”‹ “‹best”‹ “‹version”‹ “‹of”‹ “‹yourself”‹ “‹in”‹ “‹the”‹ “‹relationship?”‹ “‹Do”‹ “‹you”‹ “‹smile,”‹ “‹laugh,”‹ “‹strive,”‹ “‹try, glow”‹ “‹more”‹ “‹with”‹ “‹this”‹ “‹person”‹ “‹as”‹ “‹a”‹ “‹partner?”‹ “‹Do”‹ “‹even”‹ “‹the”‹ “‹boring”‹ “‹lamest”‹ “‹tasks”‹ “‹seem”‹ “‹more inviting”‹ “‹with”‹ “‹them”‹ “‹around?”‹ “‹Do”‹ “‹you”‹ “‹feel”‹ “‹happier,”‹ “‹more”‹ “‹expressive,”‹ “‹more”‹ “‹seen,”‹ “‹more heard”‹ “‹with”‹ “‹them”‹ “‹in”‹ “‹your”‹ “‹life?”‹ “‹Do”‹ “‹you”‹ “‹want”‹ “‹to”‹ “‹do”‹ “‹better”‹ “‹and”‹ “‹be”‹ “‹better”‹ “‹with”‹ “‹and”‹ “‹for”‹ “‹them? Do”‹ “‹you”‹ “‹emotionally”‹ “‹elevate”‹ “‹each”‹ “‹other”‹ “‹equally?

2. Do”‹ “‹they”‹ “‹bring”‹ “‹you”‹ “‹closer”‹ “‹to”‹ “‹your”‹ “‹tribe?”‹ “‹Do”‹ “‹your”‹ “‹friends”‹ “‹and”‹ “‹family”‹ “‹like”‹ “‹them?

Don’t”‹ “‹devalue”‹ “‹this.”‹ “‹Your”‹ “‹people”‹ “‹may”‹ “‹be”‹ “‹a”‹ “‹mess”‹ “‹themselves,”‹ “‹but”‹ “‹they”‹ “‹know”‹ “‹you.”‹ “‹Like, know”‹”‹ “‹you”‹ “‹know”‹ “‹you.”‹ “‹They”‹ “‹know”‹ “‹your”‹ “‹crap”‹ “‹and”‹ “‹your”‹ “‹baggage.”‹ “‹They”‹ “‹know”‹ “‹your”‹ “‹history, your”‹ “‹kryptonite”‹ “‹and”‹ “‹your”‹ “‹superpowers.”‹ “‹Trust”‹ “‹their”‹ “‹judgment.”‹ “‹No”‹ “‹matter”‹ “‹how”‹ “‹crazy”‹ “‹they are,”‹ “‹they”‹ “‹won’t”‹ “‹steer”‹ “‹you”‹ “‹wrong.”‹ “‹Plus,”‹ “‹your”‹ “‹partner”‹ “‹should”‹ “‹encourage”‹ “‹you”‹ “‹to”‹ “‹see, support”‹,”‹ “‹celebrate,”‹ “‹and”‹ “‹lean”‹ “‹on”‹ “‹your”‹ “‹elders”‹ “‹and”‹ “‹your”‹ “‹friends.”‹ “‹They”‹ “‹should”‹ “‹elevate”‹ “‹that tribal”‹ “‹connection”‹ “‹as”‹ “‹a”‹ “‹place”‹ “‹of”‹ “‹support”‹ “‹not”‹ “‹only”‹ “‹for”‹ “‹you”‹ “‹as”‹ “‹an”‹ “‹individual,”‹ “‹but”‹ “‹for”‹ “‹you”‹ “‹both as”‹ “‹a”‹ “‹couple.”‹ “‹Be”‹ “‹very”‹ “‹wary”‹ “‹if”‹ “‹your”‹ “‹family”‹ “‹and”‹ “‹friends”‹ “‹do”‹ “‹not”‹ “‹overtly”‹ “‹bless”‹ “‹your relationship.

3. Do”‹ “‹they”‹ “‹bring”‹ “‹you”‹ “‹closer”‹ “‹to”‹ “‹your”‹ “‹source?”‹

“‹When”‹ “‹and”‹ “‹how”‹ “‹you”‹ “‹feel”‹ “‹connected”‹ “‹to God,”‹ “‹humanity,”‹ “‹love,”‹ “‹or”‹ “‹whatever”‹ “‹you”‹ “‹call”‹ “‹that”‹ “‹which”‹ “‹fills”‹ “‹you”‹ “‹up”‹ “‹and”‹ “‹makes”‹ “‹you”‹ “‹whole. For”‹ “‹some”‹ “‹people,”‹ “‹it”‹ “‹is”‹ “‹nature,”‹ “‹or”‹ “‹church,”‹ “‹or”‹ “‹volunteering,”‹ “‹or”‹ “‹books,”‹ “‹or”‹ “‹AA”‹ “‹meetings,”‹ “‹or yoga,”‹ “‹or,”‹ “‹or,”‹ “‹or,”‹ “‹or…”‹ “‹Does”‹ “‹your”‹ “‹partner”‹ “‹exalt”‹ “‹this”‹ “‹higher”‹ “‹need”‹ “‹that”‹ “‹is”‹ “‹essential”‹ “‹to”‹ “‹your mental”‹ “‹and”‹ “‹spiritual”‹ “‹health?”‹ “‹Do”‹ “‹they”‹ “‹value”‹ “‹the”‹ “‹essential”‹ “‹need”‹ “‹that”‹ “‹a”‹ “‹prolonged”‹ “‹absence from”‹ “‹this”‹ “‹would”‹ “‹cause”‹ “‹you”‹ “‹to”‹ “‹shift”‹ “‹into”‹ “‹something”‹ “‹that”‹ “‹is”‹ “‹not”‹ “‹fully”‹ “‹you?

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Love”‹ “‹can”‹ “‹be”‹ “‹agony”‹ “‹and”‹ “‹ecstasy.”‹ “‹Making”‹ “‹a”‹ “‹choice”‹ “‹to”‹ “‹love”‹ “‹takes”‹ “‹strength”‹ “‹beyond compare,”‹ “‹and”‹ “‹being”‹ “‹vulnerable”‹ “‹enough”‹ “‹to”‹ “‹be”‹ “‹loved”‹ “‹takes”‹ “‹endless”‹ “‹courage.”‹ “‹Knowing when”‹ “‹to”‹ “‹jump”‹ “‹in”‹ “‹and”‹ “‹when”‹ “‹to”‹ “‹climb”‹ “‹out”‹ “‹is”‹ “‹daunting.”‹

“‹Modern”‹ “‹love”‹ “‹is”‹ “‹rarely”‹ “‹pure”‹ “‹happily ever”‹ “‹after”‹ “‹and”‹ “‹love”‹ “‹is”‹ “‹not”‹ “‹easy”‹ “‹.”‹ “‹.”‹ “‹.”‹ “‹ever.”‹ “‹I”‹ “‹have”‹ “‹photographed”‹ “‹hundreds”‹ “‹of”‹ “‹weddings”‹ “‹and I”‹ “‹promise”‹ “‹you”‹ “‹this:”‹ “‹if”‹ “‹you”‹ “‹are”‹ “‹brave,”‹ “‹thoughtful”‹ “‹about”‹ “‹love,”‹ “‹if”‹ “‹you”‹ “‹listen”‹ “‹to”‹ “‹those”‹ “‹who love”‹ “‹you”‹ “‹and”‹ “‹continue”‹ “‹to”‹ “‹make”‹ “‹the”‹ “‹best”‹ “‹next”‹ “‹right”‹ “‹choice,”‹ “‹you”‹ “‹will”‹ “‹find”‹ “‹your”‹ “‹way”‹ “‹to”‹ “‹your best”‹ “‹version”‹ “‹of”‹ “‹happily”‹ “‹ever”‹ “‹after.

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