Obviously, planning a wedding is a super exciting milestone! But before you can dive into venue tours and dress shopping, it’s essential to sit down with your partner and have some pretty important discussions. Sure, wedding planning can be stressful and lead to unnecessary tension, especially if you have differing opinions and visions for the big day. But these ten pre-wedding planning conversations will ensure you and your partner are aligned on all the key decisions, from budgeting and guest lists to traditions and responsibilities.
1. What are your visions and expectations?
You might have started planning this wedding in your head long before you even met your partner. But remember, they probably have their own thoughts and opinions about how they want their big day to turn out, too. You’ll both want to start out with an open and honest conversation about how your visions combine (marriage is all about compromise, after all!).
Start with the overall theme and vibe of your wedding. Do they envision a luxurious event in an elegant ballroom? Are you drawn to an intimate outdoor ceremony? You’ll need to find a middle ground! Another hugely important aspect of your shared wedding vision is the decor. Whether you want a modern, minimalist design or a lavish floral arrangement, finding a cohesive style early on helps guide future decisions. Will you be hiring wedding decorators to bring your dream to life or do you want a DIY approach? Discuss color schemes, floral arrangements, centerpieces… even down to the smallest details like table settings.
Don’t stress if you and your partner have different ideas. You can take inspo from both visions and find ways to blend your styles into something uniquely yours, that reflects both of you.
2. What is your budget?
This is hands down the single most important conversation you can have before you begin wedding planning. With weddings costing $35,000 on average in 2025, it can quickly turn into a massive investment at the very start of your marriage. Before getting swept up in different venues and all those Pinterest-perfect details, sit down with your partner and have a serious talk about what you can realistically afford—and what aspects of the wedding matter most.
Start with all those big-ticket items like wedding catering, venues, and photography. That luxury ballroom and plated dinner will cost far more than your dreamy backyard wedding with a buffet. If you plan on hiring a wedding planner, factor in their fees and potential savings from vendor connections. Don’t forget wedding rentals—chairs, linens, and lighting add up surprisingly fast!
Finally, discuss who’s contributing. Are families helping, or is this entirely on the two of you? Clarify these expectations early to avoid surprises. Finally, agree on your wedding must-haves. If a flashy wedding dress and photography are top priorities, adjust your spending elsewhere.
3. When do you want to get married?
Think about your desired timeframe. Do you want to get married, like, yesterday, or will you have a longer engagement to dedicate more time to planning (or relaxing)? Don’t forget, picking a wedding date is much more than just choosing a day—it impacts everything from venue availability to guest attendance and overall costs. Do you prefer a spring, summer, fall, or winter wedding? Believe it or not, each season comes with its own benefits and challenges.
Peak wedding months (late spring through early fall), often mean higher prices and limited availability for your favorite wedding venues and vendors, so if you’re planning during these months booking early is critical. A winter wedding or a weekday celebration may be more budget-friendly, but weather and travel concerns might require extra planning. Seasonality also affects the smaller details like décor and floral options. If fresh flowers are important to you, you’ll need to consider what seasonal wedding flowers are naturally available during your chosen month!
Lastly, consider your work schedules. If one of you has a busy time of year in the middle of summer, maybe your wedding would be better in the spring or fall. Think about your family’s important dates too—you may not want to schedule your big day on Dad’s birthday!
4. Who will be on your guest list?
Another one of those important pre-wedding planning conversations isn’t even about you, but your guests! You’ve already discussed the overall vibe and desired size of your wedding, but actually planning your guest list is another matter entirely. Who are you and your partner’s must-have VIP invites? Do you want children there? Your guest list will have a huge impact on your wedding catering options (and costs) and that late-night panicked “wedding venues near me” Google search.
Chat with your partner about how you’ll handle any awkward guest list talks—like who is going to tell Mom that you’re not inviting her second cousin who you met once 20 years ago?! Trust us, these things happen. Having a plan in place ahead of time helps you know just how to navigate all those uncomfortable situations.
5. Where do you want to get married?
Your choice of wedding venues plays an enormous role in setting the tone, so talk about whether you feel strongly about a traditional church setting, or if you’re considering other options like a chic hotel ballroom, an airy beachside celebration, or a rustic countryside barn. While, yes, it’s your day, think about location convenience and travel needs for your guests as well. If everyone is travelling in, you’ll need to add lodging or hotel room blocks to your wedding planning checklist, along with transportation to and from your venue.
Gather some wedding venue inspiration before you sit down so you each have some ideas!
6. What cultural or religious traditions would you like to incorporate?
Many couples feel strongly about including cultural or religious traditions in their wedding! Discuss which rituals (if any) are important to both of you, whether it’s jumping the broom, breaking the glass, or a familial tradition that’s withstood the test of time. Maybe you and your partner come from different backgrounds! Having this open conversation will ensure you find a way to blend these customs in a way that feels authentic to both of you.
7. How will you divide the wedding planning responsibilities?
Planning a wedding is a huge undertaking! If you aren’t planning on hiring a wedding planner, discuss with your partner who will handle which aspects of planning. Maybe they’re in charge of the vendor contract negotiations and budget tracking, while you take care of the catering menu and sending of the wedding invitations. Play to your strengths as a couple and keep up with communication throughout the entire process.
8. How will you handle stress and conflict resolution?
We know, having a conversation about how you’re going to argue can feel weird, but trust us, you are going to argue. Planning a wedding is no joke, and between budget conversations and disagreements on a color palette, there will be plenty to disagree over.
Discuss how you and your partner plan to handle these moments of frustration—whether it’s avoiding them from the start with weekly dinner dates to unwind or even scheduling pre-marriage counseling. The ultimate goal is a long, healthy marriage, right? Knowing how to handle conflict from the very start of that marriage is a huge plus.
9. How will you handle social media surrounding your wedding?
In this day and age, social media is a part of our everyday lives, whether we like it or not. Make sure you have conversations about your boundaries here! Lots of couples opt for “unplugged ceremonies,” where guests are all but forbidden to have their cell phones out during the ceremony to preserve their professional photos and even privacy. Others choose to hire wedding content creators and come up with specific hashtags for their weddings so they can see everyone’s point of views and relive their day afterwards.
Like everything else wedding planning, you and your partner want to feel comfortable on your big day—so make your decision early and stick to it.
10. What do you want for your honeymoon?
Finally, the fun part! Your honeymoon is your chance to (finally) relax and officially celebrate your new life together, so you definitely want to be on the same page about your getaway. First discuss what kind of trip you both want—are you more into an all-inclusive beach resort for relaxation, or are you adventurers craving an activity-filled destination? Do you want to travel internationally, or would you rather keep it local?
After you get the exciting details out of the way, you’ll need to talk about budget and duration. While some couples prefer a short getaway, others might want a longer trip. Factor in travel costs, accommodations, and any special activities you’d like to do while there. Don’t forget to discuss travel dates and logistics—do you want to go right after the wedding, or would you prefer to wait a bit?
Having open (and sometimes difficult) pre-wedding planning conversations with your partner is the key to ensuring your wedding day reflects both of your dreams and values—and your marriage gets off on the best foot! From your vision for the ceremony to how you’ll handle guest lists and budgeting, these important discussions set the stage for your wedding planning experience. So, sit down with your partner, pour some wine, and get chatting!
Looking for more wedding planning advice? Join Pearl by David’s to read up on the latest trends, wedding inspo, and tips to make your big day magical.
